be adventurous. do something out of the normal.

Something that I’d like to think I’m starting to live by. I was recently told in a class, that this weekend I should be doing something that I’ve never done before. I’m starting to get out of the normalcy of what ‘life in new york city’ has been since I’ve moved here. I’m starting to venture out more, be at peace with my mind. To start to live life to the best of my abilities. I feel so redundant when I write these text posts, about how much I’m learning, growing with myself. It’s unconsciously really.

I never like to stay in my dorm just doing homework, when I can be in a coffee shop, wandering into a different section of the city to take some photos, just taking in the atmosphere, getting inspired as I do my homework. It’s that need to be doing something with my day I suppose. I know I’m not supposed to compare myself to other people, and it’s hard. The reasonings are sort’ve there if you really look at everything when they’re spread out on the table. And I know, I’m supposed to push by that fact, and just be who I am, and just be happy. I can’t. Underneath that smile, that moment of laughter, I go back to the worrywart that I am. My mind races so much with nothing that I can’t help but wonder what goes on in other minds. 

There’s so much more I want to write, that I want to get out. That I just need someone to listen. To not judge. And that’s just too much to be asking, because in the back of your mind, everyone’s judging. It’s human nature. Maybe I should start taking meditation classes…because the quick twenty minutes we’re doing in class help me calm down for the most part. Or it’s quite possible, that I just need a new atmosphere. New people in my life, new ways to be inspired.

What is the point of saying that you know you should be taking a risk, and doing it? Instead of following someone’s footsteps, instead of having someone by to take your hand, to have things more comfortable for you; you should probably just do it. Because no one’s going to be besides you forever. And it’s better to learn the hard way now, instead of later down the road.

tell me I’m a screwed up mess, that you’ll never listen.

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